Cranky Jennie ;-p

My family is infamous (at least in our own minds) for its philosophical conversations.  Everything and anything is fair game.  For example,  on the dark side, we may ask each other, “Do you think you could stab someone to death” or if you like lighter fare, “What is the meaning of life?”.

One of the biggest debates has been about fate.  My brother is a committed fatalist.  He believes that our course is already charted and we’re going to die the way it’s been “written”.  His biggest argument for fate is 9/11.  I agree with him on that tragic, devastating event, but I do believe we have some choices in life!

Today, one of my classmates started a debate about the ability to learn.  He believes anyone can learn anything, if taught correctly.  I wholeheartedly disagreed!  I honestly don’t believe someone with a below-average IQ can understand and apply the theories of quantum physics if given the time and taught correctly.  I’m sorry, but I just can’t support the idea that we all have the capacity to learn everything and anything.  This discussion prompted this post, in case you were wondering.

Yesterday, my mother asked me two question:  Who has disappointed you most in your life and What non-family member has inspired you?  I came up with the first one quite easily, but the second one was much harder.  I partially blame myself for the first because I repeatedly subjected myself to this person in the misguide hope that s/he would change. NOT!

I’m still thinking about the second one.  I’ve had people that I have admired for one trait or another, but I’m not sure there was one person who really “inspired” me besides my parents.  Of course, I think this admission highlights who my parents are (at least in my mind).

Here’s another question:  what event or events have altered the path of your life?  Did something happen that made you change course?  I think Oprah called these “definable moments” or something like that.  I have had a few that I can name off the bat.

The fun in asking philosophical questions is you really learn what makes another person “tick”.  You find out what is important and/or of value to them.

It’s definitely a better way to spend your time than playing mindless video games or staring blankly at the television!

What makes you tick?

Today my parents have been married 43 years.  YEARS.  Where does all that time go?

I’ve learned a lot by watching my parents over the years.  The greatest lesson of all is that marriage is rarely an equal 50/50 partnership.

Some days, it feels more 80/20, but that can swing the other way within 24 hours.  Once you accept this fact, I think you’re more likely NOT to keep score.  Keeping score is dangerous in marriage.

There are times when you have to just let stuff go!

Another important lesson I learned is that things that annoy you when you’re dating are multiplied a thousand fold when you live with someone.  This is not in anyway a suggestion to live together prior to marriage.  What I am suggesting is to examine those things that bother you and decide if you really can live with it!

Of course, a major component of marriage is communication.  When G and I first got together, we had the best conversations.  We talked openly about everything and anything.  Throw in a marriage, jobs, children, etc. and communication is easily lost in the fray.  Lately, we’ve been trying to spend some time just communicating.

Communication kind of goes hand-in-hand with being each other’s best friends.  My parents truly are each other’s rock.  Granted my mother donated her kidney to my father, but most of us don’t have to go that far!  Everyone needs at least one friend they can truly depend on, so why not have your spouse be that one?

There’s that old, “don’t go to bed angry” mantra as well.  I have gone to bed angry, but that didn’t mean I actually slept!  So, you might as well get it resolved before you go to bed!

Maintain your independence.  Part of the reason my parents have lasted this long is because they maintained their independence.  They “do their own thing”.  I guess there are some people out there who like to be needed all the time, but I am not one of them!  I think alone time gives you an opportunity to regroup which is essential to your sanity!

Finally, you have to like the person you’re with.  I genuinely like G.  We are on the same page morally, politically and psychologically.  That helps us get along.  We both want peace in our home.  We typically have that.  We’re not immune to arguments, but they’re so rare that when we do argue, our kids don’t know how to react!

Marriage is a beautiful institution and I’ve been blessed enough to have parents who have shown me how it can be done.  I hope I’m as successful in mine as they have been in theirs.

It’s post-season time!  The Phillies are already in.  The Yankees are getting closer by the minute (literally).

God, I love baseball!!!  Specifically, Yankee baseball.

The NY Yankees are an institution.  Yes, detractors will say they “buy” their championships.  If so, why has it been six years?  The Yankees have earned their reputation as one of the best baseball organizations.  Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Whitey Ford, Reggie Jackson, Bucky Dent, Derek Jeter, A-Rod…some of the greatest baseball players of all time.  They are the team people love to hate.

For those of us who are Yankee fans, it’s a religion.  We are a group that screams, “never say ‘die’”!  Or as Yogi Berra said, “it ain’t over til it’s over”.  It doesn’t matter if the team is down 12-0.  Yankees don’t give up.  In Game 4 of the ALCS, Angels fans just looked so dejected and resigned to failure.  It was pathetic!  Yankee fans would NEVER give in like that!!!

Yes, Yankee fans are loud and obnoxious.  We call it enthusiasm.  We scream at the players, the umpires and the coaches.  We post things obsessively on Facebook.  We simply LOVE the game.

My love for the game started very early.  I remember going to my brother’s Little League games and thinking, “I could do that!”.  So, when I was old enough (7, I think), I started my journey playing ball.  This, of course, was at a time when girls were just really starting to get involved in sports.

Baseball also became the link between my father and me.  I still call him up when there’s a bad call (like in Game 4) or when the Yankees come back from being behind for most of the game (Game 5).  Dad was my coach for many years, and helps out when I coach my daughters.  It is one of the things that truly binds us.

It helps that I was a really good softball player too!

Going to any baseball game is a traditional.  It’s Americana.  Of course, the days of taking a family of four to a game for under $100 is nearly over (except if you sit in the bleachers and don’t eat).  Who cares?!!! There’s something familiar and comforting in taking your kids to a game.  I wish I could send my love of the game to my children through osmosis!

In the meantime, it’s a close game and I need to go scream at the television!

I want to know what you have to do as a parent to inspire excellence in your children.  Why is one person lazy while another is highly motivated?  Is it a genetic thing or can we train our kids to “aim high”?

My kids are a study in contrasts.  S is a perfectionist, but only when it comes to school work.  She wants all her “t’s” crossed and “i’s” dotted.  If you saw her room, you’d never believe it, but it’s true!

R, on the other hand…

She had her first real book report project due this week.  Now, if it was up to her, she would have waited until the night before to read the book AND do the project.  Instead, her mother (ME) haunted her and made sure she read a little bit every night.  She finished three days before the project was due.  Imagine that!  Finishing with time  to spare…

So, on to the project itself.  I helped her with the written part by asking her leading questions (remember, this is her project, not mine).  I offered suggestions for the art work, but had her do it all herself.  Of course, she did the minimum.  The project was done.  Then she put it down on the counter, in some butter that dripped off her lunch plate.  She wiped it off and was ready to put it, stained, in her backpack.  WHAT????!!!!!!!  Why is that mess acceptable to hand in?!

Yes, I made her re-do the entire thing (it took all of 10 minutes).

I just don’t understand why the bare minimum is enough for her.  Doesn’t she have higher expectations of herself?  I certainly do!

So, this brings me back to my original query: is ambition/perfection/excellence inborn or created?  If there is a special formula, I want to know what it is!

I don’t think R realizes how easy things are for her.  I think that’s part of it.  If things weren’t so easy, she would HAVE to work harder and put in SOME effort.  Eventually, she will see this aptitude as a gift.  Right now, she uses it as an excuse and that drives me crazy!!!

Somewhere, across the country, my mother is nodding her head while remembering a little girl who acted an awful lot like Miss R…