Cranky Jennie ;-p

Failure is a good thing.

This country seems to have an all-out war with failure.  We are trying to stop it any way we can.  The federal government has “saved” the banks, the mortgage companies, homeowners and the auto industry from “failure”.  We no longer expel students from school or leave them back a grade.  Every child gets a trophy just for participating.  The list goes on and go.

There are all sorts of excuses for allowing this lack of failure: it negatively effects a person’s self-esteem, we need to save the economy, everyone will know the kid who got left behind, etc. etc. etc.

What happened to awarding success?  What happened to championing the champions?  What happened to making mistakes, dusting yourself off and going for it again?

Our society seems to feel the need to level the playing field.  It is reminiscent of the story Harrison Bergeron.  In that story, everyone is made equal.  How boring!

Part of what makes humanity so beautiful is our differences.  I tell my girls that there will always be somone smarter, nicer, funnier and better looking.  That’s life.  That’s what makes each of us strive to be better - COMPETITION.  If society has its way, there will be no competition.  If there’s no competition, how can we possibly be motivated to do better?

Failure inspires.  What’s so wrong about letting the auto industry fail?  First, it would save taxpayers billions of dollars.  Yes, there would be a huge group of people unemployed.  They’d end up having to get jobs somewhere else.  With the failure of GM, Chrysler and Ford,  new companies would emerge that would be smarter and better than their predecessors.  The previous mistakes can be examined and avoided.

When I was a child, if you didn’t do well in school, you got into trouble.  If you got into trouble in school, you also got into trouble at home.  There were consequences to your actions.  Consequences!!!  Where are the consequences today?

Failure means you have made mistakes and you can do better next time, if you choose.  I, personally, refuse to give up.  It’s called perseverance.  In this short blog, I’ve already mentioned a few taboo words: failure, mistake, consequences, perseverance.  These are all part of the human condition.

We’ved lost sight of what is important.  There was a time when a man could start off in the mailroom of a company and because of his diligence and determination, became the president of that company twenty years down the road.  People were rewarded and judge based on their work.  Now there are quotas, and veiled discrimination in the work place (see the Connecticut case with the firefighters here: http://www.wkbw.com/news/local/49465607.html).

In education, we pour money into ESL, Special Education and other special services, but we don’t aim to inspire and educate our best and brightest.  Why?  Apparently, because it will make the “regular” kids feel stupid.  Well, the fact of the matter is, they’re not as bright as the brightest!  In China, the government takes the brightest kids and really educates them.  They don’t “dumb down” the curriculum so everyone else can learn.  That’s why they compete so well.

I’m sick of the whining and complaining. It’s time for this country to inspire and champion the winners.  It’s time for the “fittest” to be rewarded.  Otherwise, there’s nothing to hope for, aspire to or compete against.  We will become a nation of drones.  How pathetic.

Children need boundaries.  They need routine.  Children who have boundaries and have a routine feel loved.  You have taken the time to establish these things because you care.

I think it is especially important to establish who is in charge.  The last time I checked, a five year old does not have the tools to make rational, common sense decisions.  A five year old makes rash, impulsive decisions that change every two minutes!  That’s why it’s important for parents to be parents and not friends to their children.

If you put the time in to parent a child, the friendship should develop over time.  I found this with my own mother.  She and I have become incredible friends since I became an adult.  When I was a child, however, she was the parent.  Her stance enabled me to feel safe and secure in my own home.  She allowed me to make certain kinds of decisions directly related to my age, as I was growing up.

You can’t control everything your child does, but you can control when they can make decisions.  Decision making is definitely a right of passage.  Making decisions allows a child to gain confidence and independence.  The problem, I’ve found, is parents allow children to make decisions they have no business making.

For example, you decide you need to go food shopping.  Johnny doesn’t want to go.  TOO BAD.  If Johnny decides to throw a tantrum while you’re in the store, you need to make the decision whether to stay or leave.  If you leave, you have to make it clear to Johnny that you’re leaving because his behavior was unacceptable.  You need to remember that they think like five year olds.  Most adults I know are smarter than that!

I don’t know when the tide turned.  Is this “parent as friend” epidemic the fault of my generation?  Or did it start earlier?  What I’m finding, sadly, is that it’s hard to maintain relationships with parents who let their children run roughshod.

Maybe it’s better to develop friendships that are completely separate.  The problem is, you want to know the families of the children your children are hanging out with.  So, as usual, you’re stuck in a conundrum.  Such is the life of a parent!

In my house, my husband is the better disciplinarian.  I can see the benefits of his approach.  My girls absolutely adore him.

I just wish more people would jump on his parenting-style bandwagon.

God, all I do is bitch about politics.  I can’t help it!  Our federal government keeps sticking its hands in a million different pockets!

When I was a little girl, our school flew multiple flags, including the Stars & Stripes and a bright yellow one that warned: Don’t Tread on Me.  After a little research, I found out that many of the Tea Parties thrown this year used this flag to symbolize their purpose.  Sounds good to me!

Today, I received a mass email from the president of the Arizona Education Association.  He pointedly blamed the Republican majority in our state legislature for the  impending cuts to education in our state. I wonder why he didn’t reference back to our former Gov. Napolitano’s insistence on overspending in so many other areas, which led to our state’s deficit.  Oh, that’s right, she’s a Democrat.  Stop pointing fingers and DO SOMETHING about it.  God, politicians annoy the crap out of me.

So, all this stuff made me think, what would I do if I ran for office?  Here’s my Top 10 List:

1. Accept that we are not all going to be equal, but try to do right by the majority.

2. Listen to THE PEOPLE.  You know, those of you who vote and put your trust in someone to stand up for you.

3. Put education first.  Everyone bitches about it, but no one actually does anything to remedy this problem.  It is a MAJOR issue.

4. Protect the environment, but don’t shove “green” down everyone’s throat.  Don’t threaten me with the demise of the planet.  Use common sense and let people know that pollutants cause health issues (among other things).  Make it relatable to the masses, rather than make it yet another polarizing issue.

5. Have advisors from both sides.  I want to hear what each side has to say before I make an informed decision.  Common sense wins out.

6. Welfare to work.  Train people to do jobs.  We need McDonald’s employees as much as we need doctors.

7. Protect our young and our elderly.  Health insurance, social security, etc.  We need to foster our young (mind and body) and take care of those who took care of us.

8.  Stop trying to save failing companies.  That means no more stimulus packages.  If you fail because of stupid management, overspending and inferior products, RIP.  Someone else will fill your spot.

9.  Minimize unions.  If we paid fireman, police officers and teachers what they are worth, they wouldn’t need unions to fight for their rights.  Use common sense.  The auto unions are part of the demise of GM and Ford.

10. Revere the office.  If you are a lying, cheating, scum sucker, you lose your position.  If you are in a position of power, there are people who look to you do to the right thing.  You are held up on a pedestal and need to remember that.  Have some morals and some character!!!!
I could probably go on for days, but that’s enough for now.  We’ve got a government that is filled with people who are too big for their britches.  I don’t need to name names.  PUBLIC SERVICE means you do what your constituents want.  When they tell you to stop spending money and you keep doing it anyway, you are failing at your job.  You are not a god.  Ugh.  Our forefathers are rolling over in their graves.

Father’s Day is also known as the day Jennie can’t be cranky.  It is the day when I must cater to my husband and extol praises on his abilities as a father.  It is also the day I call my father and tell him how lucky he is to have me as his daughter

The father of today is so much more involved that those in the past.  Of course, there were dads who were very much involved with their children when I was growing up, but it seems today it has become a social norm.  There are dads at every sporting event, recital, school function, etc.  I think kids are better for it.

As you know, I am the mother of daughters.  It has been proven (and I’m not going to document research here), that a daughter’s relationship with her father will dictate her future relationships with men.  It is also vital for them to see the interaction between both their parents.  Children learn what they live (I’ve used that little cherub at least once before).

That said, my daughters are going to marry well (GOD, I hope so!).  My husband doesn’t just sit around and watch the kids play.  He interacts with them.  He teaches them new things and takes them on cool adventures.  He spends time reading with them, discussing their days and offering advice.  He is, in one word, phenomenal.

Now, does his high level achievement come naturally, or is it something cultivated?  For G, I think it’s mostly natural.  He truly adores our girls and enjoys being with them.  However, if I was an uptight mom who had to have total control of the kids at all times, he wouldn’t have the freedom to do what he does.  If I nagged him about how he was doing things, he’d stop doing them.  So, from the time the girls were babies, I kept my mouth SHUT.  When he fed them, I let him do it his own way.  I “let” him babysit early on and (tried) not to freak when the house looked like a tornado upon my return.

In return, G gained confidence in his abilities.  I think it takes a REALLY stupid woman to criticize when her husband, boyfriend, partner, whatever, wants to play an integral part in the raising of the children.

So, to all those dads out there — the ones who do a little, and especially the ones who do a lot — thank you :)  Your children are the beneficiaries in so many great ways.  I hope my girls find someone to love who is 1/2 as a good a father as the one they’ve got.

Happy Father’s Day, G, you are loved ginormously!