Cranky Jennie ;-p

Everyone needs a haven.  You know, a place where you can find peace and tranquility.  For me, that’s the beach.  Of course, I chose a place to live that is landlocked!

I love the sound of the waves, the feel of sand in my toes and the sun beating down on my face.  I love the awesome power of the ocean.  Only a fool thinks they can overcome Her.

This summer, my eldest really experienced the ocean for the first time.  Before this summer, she was tentative and wouldn’t go in past her ankles.  Imagine my surprise when she went straight in, with her boogie board, and had the time of her life!  Her laughter and pure joy made the beach that much better for me.  I grabbed a boogie board myself and joined her.

My younger daughter experienced the power of the ocean and humbly avoided her wrath.  S got thrown once, tossed around and spit out.  That was enough for her!  the rest of the time, she ran away from the waves and happily played in the sand.  Smart girl!  I hope she finds the courage to encounter the ocean the way her sister did the next time we go.

The best day, by far, at the beach was going with “everyone”.  This included my cousin, his wife and their kids, my parents, my brother and his family, and me with my girls.  A, the eldest cousin, bravely set forth like R, only to turn her back on a wave, get lifted up and shoved into the undersea sand.  The poor kid!  At 10, she still hasn’t had enough experience to know not to turn your back on the ocean.  She had so much sand in her hair, it’s going to take a week to get it out!  To her credit, A did not avoid the ocean the rest of the day.  She actually got back in a little while later and joined up with R.  They had a blast together.

Part of the fun of the beach for me is being shanghaied and thrown in.  My father made one attempt with my cousin’s help.  M threw me in, but I dragged my father in with me.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  That’ll teach him!  I think part of my love for the ocean is my childhood memories of laughter and good times.

The craziest person on the beach, bar none, is my brother.  He body surfs the most vicious waves to the point where you hold your breath waiting for him to reemerge.  He is imparting this insanity to his own son.  W probably slept for a week following his jaunt.  The surf just repeatedly beat him up and spit him out.  Once out, he raised two fists in victory…just like Dear Old Dad.  We should all have an ounce of their joie de vivre.

To end the day, we played a rousing game of wiffle ball (I struck out twice - pathetic).  There were pickles, sliding, strike outs, hail Mary catches and lots of falling down (it’s hard to run in the sand).  The best surprise of the day was L, who is 4 1/2.  She could really hit.  I see a future as the next Jennie Finch!

The beach is a magical place.  If I could live anywhere, it would be in a shack on the beach, listening to the lull of the waves, the sounds of the seagulls and the laughter of children frolicking in the sand.  Is there any better place?  I think not!

“Life is short.  You need to do what makes you happy.”  On the surface, I have no problem with this statement.  However, if you examine it more closely, it leaves out one very important factor: are your actions going to adversely affect someone else?

Relationships are built on trust.  You trust that your friend will keep your feelings in mind when making a decision that can affect both of you.  Recently, one of my daughter’s friends decided she didn’t want to play with her anymore because my daughter doesn’t like the same kinds of games.  This decision came out of nowhere.  My daughter is left wondering what she did wrong.  I have a problem with that.

I’ll call the friend “B”.  B is a social kid.  She’s hyper and chatty and very girly.  R, my daughter, is none of those things.  Aren’t some of our greatest relationships fostered over our differences.  When do people in a friendship or in a relationship are different, there’s room for learning and accepting people’s differences.  My biggest problem with B is that she is not learning how to accept people who are different than she is.  It’s not like R and B were together all the time, so why did she have to draw such a definitive line in the sand?

According to B’s mom, their family philosophy is to go out and do whatever you want that will make you happy.  If B gets invited on a trip during Christmas (including Christmas Day), then she should go on that trip.  This is where I fundamentally disagree.  A trip over a family holiday?  I don’t think so.  Major holidays, as far as I’m concerned, are meant to be spent with family.  There are 360 + other days of the year to do things with friends.

When you put your own happiness above the feelings of others, from your family to mere acquaintances, you are fostering a spirit of selfishness.  When you decide  you don’t want to hang out with someone anymore and don’t give them warning or a reason, you’re being selfish.  Aren’t there two people in that friendship and/or relationship?

I have a problem with this on so many levels that I can’t really organize my thoughts well on this topic.

It seems to me that B is allowed to go where she wants to go and do what she wants to do in the pursuit of personal happiness.  In her wake, she leaves people dumbfounded.  She’s not developing any strong links with anyone along the way.  Everyone is expendable based on her whims.

I think loyalty is important.  Working through problems and on relationships is vital to becoming a good human being.  How is dumping someone without notice a viable solution when you’re the one left to pick up the pieces?  There are consequences to all actions.

In my house, our family is a unit.  My house is the soft place for my kids to fall when something goes wrong.  I am teaching my kids to face their problems, figure them out and develop a solution that is wise and caring.  I don’t believe in using people until I’ve decided I’m done with them.

Yes, people come in and out of our lives.  Yes, children need to learn independence.  But I believe a parent’s time with their children is short and we have to instill in them a set of values that will enable them to succeed in a world that, in it’s greatest form, is filled with compassion and love for their fellow human being.  Selfish people ruin it for the rest of us.  It makes me sad that personal happiness trumps all in B’s life.

I want to state two Cranky Jennie Truths right off the bat:

First, I believe in the 2nd Amendment and a person’s right to bear arms.

Second, while the cat (and kittens) are away, the mouse (my husband) has too much time on his hands, thinks too much and comes up with stupid ideas.

Although I believe in the 2nd Amendment, I don’t want a gun in my house.  This aversion was plainly stated early in my relationship with G.  He has always known where I stand on this issue.  My stance only strengthened when we added children into our house.  I need to make this clear, since apparently G has forgotten how strongly I feel about guns in MY house.

I have been on an extended trip to the East Coast, while G has remained with my beloved puppies.  In the interim, G has decided that the world is going to hell and he needs a gun so he can protect his family.  Here’s his reasoning:

1. He wants one.

2. He wants to protect his family when the market crashes and all hell breaks loose.

3. He will leave the gun at a storage place (i.e., a gun club).

4. There’s a 1/2 price sale going on up in town, so now is the time to buy.

One other rule he forgot, OBVIOUSLY, was not to argue with the wife.  My responses were:

1. I want a million dollars, a shack on the beach, a few rooms painted, some new furniture and wood floors, yet none of those things are happening anytime soon.

2. Would you enter my house with four dogs (three Chows and a Husky at that)?

3. Doesn’t #3 delete #2?  I can imagine the conversation, “Oh, excuse me, Mr. Home Invader.  Would you just stay right there while I get in my car, drive down the road so I can retrieve my gun and come back so I can shoot you?”.

4. Do we know where they’ve been?

To make matters worse, G has been spending an exorbinant amount of money (o.k., maybe not exorbinant) at Home Depot.  So, I asked my husband, now affectionally known as Mr. Unabomber, if he was building a fallout shelter so he can hide, with his gun, from the Big Bad Wolf?

G is normally a very rational person.  I can only attribute his misstep as a result of too much alone time.  It’s scary where your brain goes when you’re left alone too long!  Luckily, we get him back into the grooves of normalcy later this week.

In the meantime, I will continue to send him subliminal messages and a few teasing jabs, just to keep him on his toes.  What more could you ask for from a wife?

This week, I took my girls to see “Shrek the Musical” at the Broadway Theater in New York City.

We made an adventure out of it.  We took the Staten Island Ferry, then the train up to Midtown.  I call it an adventure because of the sights, the sounds, the people and the total deviation from their normal white bread existence.  I think I may look forward to it more than they do!

The ferry, of course, offers a much different view post-9/11.  Luckily, my children have never known the “original”.  The Manhattan skyline is still a sight to see.  After the boat docked, there’s a mad rush to get off.  My children had to learn to hustle so they didn’t get run over!  Their Southwest lifestyle is much more relaxed and slow-moving.  So, their first lesson of the day was to get a move  on!

Lesson number two took place in the subway.  Their grandmother explained that they needed to stay way behind the yellow line.  In pure innocence, S asked why this was important.  Her grandmother explained that sometimes there are crazy people who want to push people on to the tracks to hurt them.  Way to soften the blow, mom!

S and R love to spin on the poles in the trains.  Around and around and around and around…You get the idea.  Before we knew it, we were at our stop.  More hustle and bustle, off the train, up the stairs and back to daylight!

We walked a few blocks and reached our destination.  The show itself was wonderful.  It was funnier than the movie version (facial expressions add a lot).  The actors were phenomenally talented (Fiona was played by Sutton Foster, well-known on the Broadway circuit and incredible to watch).  The music was great, the dancing fun and inspired - a riveting performance all around.  I think my parents enjoyed the show more than the kids!

Part of my inspiration for bringing the girls, besides my love for musical theater and the magical voices of its stars, is the cultural experience.  You can’t help but be surrounded by culture in Manhattan.  It’s everywhere you turn.  It’s the man playing guitar in his underwear.  It’s Regis Philbin walking down the street.  It’s the theater, the music, the buildings and the people.  This kind of education is priceless and necessary, as far as I am concerned.

Every time we come to NY, I organize some kind of trip into the city just so the girls can see “how the other 1/2 lives”.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Arizona, the blue skies, the majestic mountains and the temperate weather.  However, it just doesn’t quite measure up to all you can experience in NY (plus the beach isn’t too far away which is an added bonus).

Only in NY can they charge you $12.99 plus tax for a pound of multicolored M&Ms.  Yes, we went to their main store in Times Square.  I’ve eaten more of those chocolate candies this week than I have throughout my lifetime!

The final, main lesson of the trip was you can travel to Far Far Away, Mars 2112 and Candyland within a few blocks and return home fully satiated for another year.  I can’t wait for our next venture into the cultural wonderland that is New York City.

Oh, and if you get a chance, DEFINITELY go see Shrek the Musical - You won’t be disappointed!