Cranky Jennie ;-p

We realize the funniest things through our children.  In my case, I recognize my ADD in my youngest daughter.

ADD, for those who don’t know, is attention deficient disorder.  ADD sufferers have a short attention span, are easily distracted, hyperactive, etc.

Recently, S took a gifted test in school.  I was surprised that she didn’t do as well as I expected (after all, aren’t all our children geniuses?).  After some investigation, I found out the test was given orally in the classroom.  S had three strikes against her doing well: she didn’t have her glasses on, she can’t take an orally-given test and do well, and her teacher told her “it doesn’t count for a grade”.

Her lack of glasses is an ongoing battle.  She just refuses to wear them, though she does need them.  When her teacher told her that the test didn’t count for a grade, she lost interest (she’s all about getting “A’s”).  The oral part is different.  When she does her work in the classroom, it typically takes her longer to get stuff done because she’s distracted by the noises and other students around her.  This can impede her concentration.  S is hyper-aware of everything going on around her and will focus on whatever is interesting, rather than the task at hand.

For example, while doing a book report that she would prefer NOT to do, she will pause to pet the dog, answer the phone, run into her room, grab something to eat or go to the bathroom.  Getting her to focus on something she’d rather not do is an exercise in frustration.

I can relate.

I cannot sit on the couch and watch television without doing something else at the same time: playing a video game, checking email, reading homework, or even tapping my leg.

The joke in my family is that I can’t get through the day without a nap.  This may be true, but I get more done in the 12 hours I’m awake than most people get done in three days.  I’m constantly on the move.

Can you image how torturous it is for met sit through a 90 minute class?  I have to admit that sometimes it’s hard for me to keep my eyes open!  Boredom puts me to sleep.

I’m not a huge proponent of medicating young kids.  If S’s ADD was interfering with how she performed on a daily basis in the classroom, I suppose I would consider it.  That’s not the case.  Her drive to do well keeps her doing well.  She may be focused on her work, but she’s also listening to everything going on around her.

She’s like the dog in the movie “Up”.  She can be in the middle of something, but if she sees a “squirrel”, she immediately follows that instead.  She doesn’t even remember she was doing something else.

ADD can be a blessing and a curse.  I wish I could just relax and sit and watch a movie.  I just can’t.  S is the same way.   We get a lot done, but we also leave a mess along the way.  It’s funny to see my own affliction in my child.  It offers me a rare view into her mind and gives me a lot of patience when dealing with her.

We just don’t know any other way.

Stability is my nirvana.  I grew up in a functional home, so any change in stability truly rocks my core.

Stability comes from different places: money, family, relationships, etc.

Financial stability helps build a strong foundation, but is also hard to come by.  In today’s economy, it is even harder to reach than normal.  To me, financial stability means putting a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes on my back.  It means not having to worry about how you’re going to pay the bills.  Many marriages flounder because of money issues.  I am fortunate to have this kind of stability thanks to G.  His career has allowed me to stay home and raise my children and to return to school to pursue a new career.  When I was a child, we didn’t have a lot of money, but I never knew it.  I had what I needed.  I guess this makes me the rare person who has not felt the sting of financial INstability.

We also find stability in our relationships.  It may be a long-standing friendship or with a partner.  My most stable and long-term relationship is with my parents and my brother.  This, I believe, stems from that “happy home” of my childhood.  I can count on them emotionally and mentally.  They are my “go-to” people in times of turmoil and stress.  I know they will tell me the truth, which is more powerful than telling me what I want to hear.  Even with the truth, they continue to support and encourage me, even if they don’t always agree.  I think we all need someone who will tell us the truth, even when we really don’t want to hear it.  My family knows when I need to hear it and they frequently tell me in a way that I don’t find offensive.

I have followed a tough path when it comes to relationships outside my family.  My biggest issue is expectations of others.  In the last year, I lost a very dear friend through miscommunication and failure to meet expectations.  I think we disappointed each other.  I did try to make amends, but my attempt failed.  The loss of that friend still hurts and I miss her every day.  She was the best friend I ever had, primarily because it was my first real “give and take” friendship.

Years ago, when I was in my final year of college, I lived in a tumultuous house with five other girls.  It didn’t start out that way, but events completely out of my control through everything in flux.  It was my first experience living in constant turmoil and I floundered.  To cope, I drank.  A LOT.  The ensuing drama left a lasting impression.

When things are unstable, I don’t have the coping mechanisms to work through it in a constructive way.  I don’t drink anymore, but I do pick up smoking again.  Yes, very stupid, but I retreat to that one thing I know will calm me down and let me escape.

Life is a constant learning curve.  I strive to make my life as stable as possible, but this year has been tough.  I am still guided by optimism and hope, however, so inch by inch, I am making my way back to stable ground.  It’s not just that one friendship that threw me off, but I don’t want to get too personal.  I guess the biggest point to be made is to savor the stable parts of your life since those are the things that will pull you through almost anything.

When you go to Maui, you certainly don’t think you’ll have anything to complain about.  Unfortunately, for my first foray to Maui, I have a few complaints about my accommodations.

After traveling to a few different places with G and NOT staying at the Westin, we vowed that we would stay at one for our next big trip.

I have four major complaints, but I will start off with the positive.  The grounds are absolutely beautiful.  The pool area is surrounded by koi ponds, waterfalls and lush foliage.  The natural beauty of the beach is just steps away.  It’s whale season, so if you look out in the distance, you can catch a spout and sometimes, a grand splash - pretty cool!

The beauty ALMOST makes you forget the bad stuff.

I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll begin at the start of a typical day: breakfast.  Breakfast is included for adults.  It’s standard resort-fare.  I always did enjoy a continental breakfast.  Children, unfortunately, are not free.  Instead, they are 50% off.  In other words, every day, it costs us $30 to feed my two children (both of whom are under 12).  Since my children are young, breakfast consists of a few pieces of bacon and a bowl of cereal.  The last time I checked, cereal and bacon don’t cost $30!  I’m sorry, but the children should be free OR the Westin should charge them a child-friendly price ($5).

So, after being ripped off at breakfast, we head to the towel and chair hut to get our supplies for the beach.  There are two issues here.  First, if you don’t get your beach chair early, you’re out of luck.  Yes, they won’t have any left to give you.  Give, of course, implies “free”, which brings me to point #2.    You have to PAY for your beach chairs EVERY DAY.  The first two chairs and an umbrella (there are even fewer of these) cost you $25.  Each additional chair is $5.  Now, I’ve been to a few places:  the Bahamas, Puerto Rico, Mexico and Grand Cayman, and we never, ever, ever had to pay for a beach chair.  It’s absolutely absurd.  The chair fee has now become a running joke between G, my parents (also on the trip) and I.

At this point of the day, I am already out an additional $65.  One thing I haven’t mentioned is that the Westin also charges a $25/day resort fee.  This covers the gym, the parking, two bottles of water and a few other inconsequential incidentals.  So, now my daily total is $90.

I only have four MAJOR complaints, so I will continue here with #3, my room.  There are four of us.  Thankfully, the kids are still young enough that their size doesn’t impose upon others.   If you have teenagers, however, there is no way you will fit comfortably in a standard room.  The rooms are SMALL.  With two full-sized beds, there is very little “moving-around” room.  Luckily for my family, I pick stuff up obsessively, so the path to the bathroom is always clear.

Finally, the piece de resistance of all hotels: service.  In a week, I met ONE person who provided service with a smile.  The staff are scarce and not really service-oriented.  I like to be greeted with a smile.  When we go to breakfast, we have to wait for a table (which is funny since there are 20 open tables in plain site).  An extra hostess or two would go a long way in delivering fast and friendly service.

I truly am disappointed by Westin.  I expected so much more.  My wallet is suffering.  When you calculate it all out, I am paying an extra $630 in unexpected fees.  That makes my “great buy” not so great after all.  Had I known about all these hidden fees, I would have, at the very least, considered another hotel.  I certainly will not stay here again.

It’s that time again: Spring Break.

Gone are the days of reckless partying, monster hangovers and careless fun!

Welcome to the days of hanging out with your kids, over-planning to keep them happy and active, and sibling arguments.  Or, if you’re wise, you travel somewhere tropical and keep them occupied on the beach!

I remember when I was a teacher, I couldn’t understand why parents were dreading any kind of school break.  I certainly looked forward to sleeping in, not grading papers, and not having to deal with the needs of 150+ students!

Now I’m a parent.  I’m not going to complain though, because my girls are really at great ages.  When we travel, a simple “you will put a smile on your face or I will make you miserable” usually does the trip!

I have even more to be happy about this year (besides a Maui getaway).  I just finished a week in school myself.    This was no ordinary week.  I am taking Organic Chemistry and Anatomy & Physiology II.  I can’t remember EVER doing this much work, let alone in a short week.  I had a pre-lab report, post-lab report, lab packet, pop quiz, lecture quiz, O Chem exam and Bio lab exam all within three days.

Wiped out cannot even begin to describe how I feel!

Which brings me to Spring Break.  My idea of vacation is sitting my ass on a beach chair, watching the girls play, eat great food and read a novel.  G’s idea of a vacation is traveling around, doing things, sightseeing, etc.

The problem here comes down to our daily lives.  I spend my life in school, running errands, doing things for other people and finally sitting down around 8 at night.  G spends his days at a desk (this is not to belittle his job, but he DOES sit all day).

So, for me, vacation gives me the opportunity to actually sit and relax.  For G, it means NOT sitting.

So, as I said in my previous post, I’m trying to compromise by going zip-lining and on a marathon bike ride to see a volcano.  Isn’t that enough??!!!!!  Marriage is about compromise, right?  So, giving up two days for G seems fair.  I just want the other five for me

For once, in a long long time, I’m really looking forward to Spring Break, kids and all.  It’s an opportunity to get to know them more and spend “fun” time with them, rather than yelling at them to get dressed, clean their room or do their homework!

I hope you all enjoy yours too